When we first started thinking about adoption we really didn't know much. We soon learned that there are three general kinds of adoption: domestic infant, domestic foster care or international. All three are great ways to adopt, and each needs families to adopt from them! Our decision to go with international in no way diminishes the other two types. Rather as we've researched and talked to agencies, we're realized that for our particular situation, international just is the best fit.
Domestic Infant:
This type of adoption is done when a pregnant birthmom here in the United States decides to give her child up for adoption. Typically, the birthmom and adoptive parents work together through an agency/lawyer. Adoptive parents put together a profile of themselves, and the birthmom looks through these profiles and decides on the adoptive parents. The adoptive parents usually meet the birthmom, may even be present for the birth, and often stay in contact for years after. Within a few days of the birth, the child is given to the adoptive parents.
As we talked to various agencies and lawyers that focus on domestic infant adoption we learned that there are a lot of adoptive parents hoping to adopt this way. In fact, in many instances there is a waiting list that can range from several months to years for adoptive parents to wait for a match. Biologically we can still have children, and we felt that if we were going to adopt we'd like to go with children who had more 'high need.' Children in this situation will very likely be adopted into loving homes, so we decided to look other places.
Foster Care:
Each state has its own foster care system. Most children who reside in foster care were placed there because their birthparents were considered deemed unfit by the state. The goal of foster care is to eventually reunite children with their birthparents, and so children stay with a foster family until the state either decides that their birthparents are fit to be guardians again or the child is placed for adoption.
This appealed to us greatly. However, each state's system is different and in the State of Illinois, while there are many children waiting to be adopted, the vast majority of these children are over the age of 6. We were told on several occasions by different state sources that our chances of adopting a child under the age of 6 in Illinois are little to none. We're not at a place in our lives where a child 6 or over really makes sense, so foster care was ruled out.
International:
International adoption is exactly how it sounds: you adopt from a country other than the U.S. Each country differs in terms of requirements to adopt from there, age of children available for adoption, cost, etc. Typically though, you can adopt a child 6 months or older. The reasons that countries offer international adoption also vary. Usually it is because the country has an overwhelmingly large #of orphans, and due to extreme poverty or country regulations (such as China's one-child policy) people within their own country are not able to adopt many of these children. The statistics are staggering for orphans overseas and many will likely live in orphanages throughout their entire childhood and in some situations not survive until adulthood if not adopted internationally.
Being able to adopt a child younger than Josh (we'd like for him to remain the oldest) and adopting from a place with obvious need makes international adoption the clear choice for us.
Next up, determining which country...
“For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” Jeremiah 29:11
